I just made up that name. Cort reduction surgery sounds like the new wave of self help surgeries, doesn't it?
Well, as each day goes by, a new Cushie gets diagnosed and heads to surgery. One friend, Heather, has been worried about decision to undergo pituitary surgery. She mention more anxiety and growing concerns as the surgery day approaches.
I have personally been at the "Well, what's gonna happen to me now?" stage more than once.
I have been diagnosed with Cushing's FOUR times in six years. I endured the insanity of consecutive daily midnight blood draws, midnight saliva tests, and urine collections FOUR time periods in my life. I had to determine the best option to get rid of this tenacious cortisol beast that is Cushing's FOUR times. *It ain't no picnic.*
TESTED MY CORTISOL
12/2007. First diagnosis -- pituitary surgery; delayed while I tried to become pregnant.
09/2008. Darling baby arrives.
06/2009. Pituitary surgery #1.
TESTED MY CORTISOL
04/2009. Pituitary surgery #2.
TESTED MY CORTISOL
07/2012. Started ketoconazole.
TESTED MY CORTISOL
12/2013. Bilateral adrenalectomy.
Each time I tested, I faced questions I already knew would hang over me: What treatment would I face next? Will this finally work? Only each time, a decision had to be made, and I had to follow through with that decision all the way to surgery day.
As the years go on, uncertainty gets worse. Desperation sends your mind racing, while bleakness takes residence in your heart. You know the choices. You know which of your friends it worked for. As you realize you have already tried nearly everything, you also realize there are just not enough appealing choices left.
So I tell my friend to do what she can, but take a break from the worry.
"Your body is trying to trick you. Cortisol ramps up towards a stressful event like surgery, and doubt and anxiety build. Don't let it fool you. The month before surgery is always the worst. Cushing's grabs a hold of us and swings us around like a dog does his chew toy. After surgery, you will realize how clear your mind can be again once the cortisol faucet is shut off and the overflowing tub is drained of unneeded cortisol.
May I suggest doing something for yourself once a week until surgery?
Pick a day and do it.
Movies. Favorite dessert place. Buy a new purse. Go buy a good book for the hospital... Fiction ... No self help books! The days will fly by. You will be better before you know it."
With every Cushie we send to surgery, the community collectively holds its breath until the Cushie is safely through surgery and out of the hospital. We take a deep but quick breath, and we hold it again until we see the signs of excess cortisol reverse in their body over the coming months and years. Will that surgery cure them? We just never know who will make it out of the disease race track on lap 1, 2, 3, 4, or more after these surgery pit stops. "We elders just can't bring ourselves to say, Kid this may be it, or you may be back at the plate for another turn."
Only time will tell.
