Wednesday, January 13, 2010

I'M JUST GONNA SAY IT

I did midnight testing for Cushing's on December 8 and 9, 2009.

My midnight cortisol serum results were high. Both days.

Normal level is 0. Mine were 5.93 and 6.1. WAY TOO HIGH.

This is a bad sign that my Cushing's may be reoccurring.

HIGH. Just like before surgery.
HIGH. My hopes for my family's return to normalcy.
HIGH. My anxiety over how long it will take for me to be the person, wife and mother that I want to be, the one that I know I am inside.

I am working on setting up a testing schedule with my new endocrinologist in my new town. I'm reconstructing the story of my life in lab results, MRI reports, and emails to doctors. This stack is as big as a ream of paper. That's 500 sheets! More than three years of my life are caught up in those papers. How much more time will Cushing's take from me?

I am sure the testing protocol will include continued cortisol testing, adrenal scans, lung scans, perhaps even another IPSS. So many more tubes of blood, urine samples, lab trips, doctor visits, questions and half answers. I'm not looking forward to it.

Onward.
~Melissa